Fancy-schmancy

The keys you use to move around are all grouped together. If you have the fancy-schmanciest kind of keyboard, they’re between the alphabet keys and the number keypad, with the arrow keys arranged in an upside-down T at the bottom and Insert, Delete, Home, End, PageUp, and PageDown, lumped together at the top.

First of all, the garden party usually takes place on a Saturday, so you can make a fashion statement in your fancy-schmanciest clothes and stun the opposite sex by emerging like the “After” instead of the “Before” part of a “Dump that Frumpy Look” makeover.

“Wait, you have a radio in your collar?” “Of course, what kind of an idiot would strap his only means of emergency communication to his wrist? They always tie you up.” “Oh, well, fancy schmancy.”

And Pink, one of the few clubs left in the city devoted to house music — remember that? — closed Jan. 4. I disagreed with some of the fancy-schmancier aspects of Pink’s approach, but I still loved it in occasional doses.