Spaff

I spaffed all over my face. Some went up my nose and in my eyes.

Whoever thought of spaffing to extinguish campfires anyway (?), you idjit.

I think I just spaffed my pants.

Historically, there have been many ways to register disapproval with the Vatican leadership. Martin Luther famously nailed his 95 theses to a church door; Trump spaffed his on to Truth Social after his TV made him angry again.

You behave as if it’s a sin to spend money, but if some la-la land TV company wants to spaff cash at me, what should I do? Duck?

You know, £60m I saw was being spaffed up a wall on some investigation into historic child abuse and all this kind of thing. What on earth is that going to do to protect the public now?

This grooming of the national mindset explains the retention of 92 "hereditary peers" in the House of Lords: individuals who are gifted a right to sit in the nation's upper chamber and facilitate laws for no other reason than that their ancestor was the illegitimate child of some prince, or willing to spaff a few quid on the title when David Lloyd Gorge was selling of gongs for bribes.