Urinator

[In The Strawberry Statement (1969)] James Simon Kunen chronicled his role as an activist at Columbia University during the student takeover of several campus buildings. He overcame police barricades, climbed through windows, and joined his fellows in occupying the offices of President Grayson Kirk. Then in the company of his olive-drab colleagues he urinated in Kirk's wastepaper basket and read his mail. Reviewers esteemed the book highly and pronounced the youthful urinater an authentic Voice of Protest.

Being an orthodox Jew, he kept his store closed on the Sabbath, and when one of his customers bemoaned his action with the remark, "It is a pity on your investment if you keep closed on Saturday; you are bound to lose it." My grandfather retorted, "Pisherke, ich huff tsu dir? Ich hab a Gutt." ("Urinator, do you think I pray to you? I have a God.")

Swamped by so much serious crime, the New York police had all but given up on misdemeanor arrests and the streets teemed with an army of malefactors—beggars, scavengers, squeegee men, graffiti artists, vandals, public urinaters, jostlers, drug pushers, and purse snatchers—fostering the climate for still more violence.

Florida needs a special prison for tourists. [...] Let the police snatch the boor off the highway and drag his sorry butt straight to Tourist Court. Same goes for the drunks, stoners, and public urinators.

The urinator had not had the flu or a cold for ten years, not since he started urinating wherever he pleased. He didn't make a connection. He was not superstitious about his secret. All he knew is that the good life accompanied urinating wherever he pleased.

I then looked down and was startled to see a darkish, uncircumcised willy being waggled dry; its owner, relieving himself against the garden wall, quite unaware of my presence. [...] [A] horizontal strip of white tiles, with religious images, had been embedded, a little below penis-level, along the beach side of the garden wall; tiles with images of Shiva, Jesus, Koranic calligraphy, a Sikh guru, the Buddha and a Zoroastrian angel. But it hadn't really worked. The urinators simply passed along the wall to a spot where someone else's religious symbol had been placed.

While doing my business at the urinal trough, along with maybe half dozen other guys, one guy started spouting this and that in a know-it-all manner. [...] Another "urinator" rolled his eyes at me as if to say, "This guy doesn't know his ass from hole in ground."

But above all, the diſcovery of ſubmarine treaſures is more eſpecially conſiderable, not only in regard of what hath been drowned by wrecks, but the ſeveral precious things that grow there, as Pearl, Coral Mines, with innumerable other things of great value, which may be much more eaſily found out, and fetcht up by the help of this [a submarine], than by any other uſual way of the Urinators.